Zoe, Kate and I
Sadly, we’re almost coming to the end of our Miscarriage series, and this time we’re talking about support. Sometimes it can be difficult to reach out for support, especially as miscarriage is tragically still viewed a taboo subject.
In this episode, we chat with Zoe Clarke-Coates. Zoe is the co-founder of the award-winning charity ‘The Mariposa Trust’ (widely known by the name of its primary division called sayinggoodbye.org) and the author of 3 books, which are essential reading for anyone who is grieving.
Zoe is also the co-chair of the Government’s National Pregnancy Loss Review. Zoe’s interview is essential listening if you are, or have experienced baby loss, no matter whether this is recently or years ago. We talk about the support Zoe’s charity offers, how miscarriage care is changing for the better and how it is possible to move forward with hope and joy for the future.
The Taboo of Miscarriage
The culture surrounding miscarriage is the belief that you shouldn’t talk about being pregnant until you’re past the 12-week point. However, this serves to enforce the taboo surrounding miscarriage, as does our UK culture of finding it difficult to talk about death. Until we can openly discuss death and early pregnancy it will be difficult to remove this taboo.
National Loss Certificate
We discuss how the care of bereaved parents following a miscarriage, is changing for the better, especially with Zoe’s involvement in the recent Governmental review and the work of Zoe’s charity in promoting good NHS care for women and couples who have experienced baby loss.
Zoe launched a campaign to acknowledge early pregnancy and advocates that bereaved parents can choose to receive a National Loss certificate in the same way that a birth and death certificate is issued. Therefore acknowledging the loss.
Support from ‘Saying Goodbye’
Zoe’s charity offers various support, and one of the lovely things they do is hold regular Remembrance Services. Zoe talks about how emotional these events are but how it has such a powerful and beautiful impact for bereaved parents. She also tells us about how miscarriage can impact on a relationship and how the charity supports couples as well as the individual.
Moving forward with hope
Zoe believes that it is important to help people to find hope again and that people need lighthouses to show hope for the future. It is about acknowledging the pain and giving language to grief but also saying that even while you are feeling this, there is hope.
The Books
Zoe has published books some of which are practical books to help couples to process grief and move forward. These are applicable if you have just gone through a loss or even if you experienced baby loss over 20 years ago – the books are there to offer support and practical guidance. Zoe has also written ‘Beyond Goodbye’ which is a general book for anyone experiencing any type of loss such as the loss of a parent, spouse, sibling or friend.
In our chat we talk about another podcast interview Zoe had with Cariad Lloyd who hosts the brilliant Griefcast and I wanted to share that with you also
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