In this episode of The Fertility Podcast, I’m joined by Dr Carole Gilling-Smith, Medical Director of The Agora Clinic and Trustee of Fertility Action, to talk about family building within the LGBTQ+ community.
If you are part of the LGBTQ+ community and thinking about becoming a parent, or you love someone who is, this episode is a practical starting point. We talk about treatment pathways, donor conception, fertility preservation, NHS inequality, and how to make sure you are supported properly by a clinic that understands your needs.
This is about education, empowerment and knowing your options.
What we cover in this episode
- Why fertility equality on the NHS is still not where it should be
- The postcode lottery affecting IVF funding
- Why three full IVF cycles should be the national standard
- The additional financial barriers faced by same sex couples
- Why six self funded IUIs before NHS eligibility is deeply problematic
- The risks of sourcing donor sperm online
- Choosing between known donors and donor banks
- How clinics should approach inclusive paperwork and language
- Why pronouns and preferred names matter in clinical settings
- Shared motherhood and reciprocal IVF
- Fertility testing for both partners before deciding who carries
- Supporting gay male couples through complex pathways involving egg donation and surrogacy
- Working with the trans community around fertility preservation
- Preserving sperm or eggs before starting hormone treatment
- The emotional impact of genetic connection and non biological parenting
- Why counselling is essential before treatment begins
- Supporting patients who fear internal examinations or surgical environments
- Creating clinic spaces that feel safe, calm and inclusive
About Dr Carole Gilling-Smith
Dr Carole Gilling-Smith is the Medical Director of The Agora Clinic, one of the UK’s leading fertility clinics for the LGBTQ+ community, based in Brighton and Hove.
She is also a founding Trustee of Fertility Action, the UK charity campaigning for fertility equality and better access to treatment.
Carole has been a long standing advocate for:
- Equal NHS funding for fertility treatment
- Inclusive fertility care for LGBTQ+ patients
- Fertility education in schools and universities
- Fertility preservation for the trans community
You can find out more here:
A note on donor sperm and online routes
We discuss the growing number of people sourcing donor sperm online due to cost barriers.
Carole explains why this carries significant risks, including:
- Lack of medical screening
- No infectious disease screening
- No genetic testing
- Legal parenthood complications
- Potential financial liability issues
If you are considering donor conception, please ensure you fully understand the medical and legal implications.
Fertility preservation for the trans community
Since 2019, NHS guidance states that individuals starting hormone treatment should be offered the opportunity to preserve sperm or eggs beforehand.
Carole explains:
- Why this conversation needs to happen early
- How egg or sperm freezing works
- Why preservation can be empowering
- The importance of specialist, experienced clinics
- The emotional impact of being offered choice
If you or someone you know is starting transition and has not been offered fertility preservation, please ask.
Support from our sponsors
Access Fertility
If you are worried about the cost of IVF, Access Fertility partners with over 60 UK clinics to offer interest free finance, multi cycle packages and refund programmes.
Find out more at:
https://www.accessfertility.com/thefp
One Day Tests
Book a confidential online consultation with a fertility specialist and discuss hormone testing and next steps.
Use code FERT10 for 10 percent off your blood test.
Let’s keep the conversation going
- Follow me on Instagram: @fertilitypoddy
- Learn more about workplace fertility support at:
- https://fertilitymattersatwork.com
- Explore Fertility Action’s campaigns and support groups:
- https://fertilityaction.org
- Subscribe to the podcast so new episodes land straight in your feed
If this episode has helped you, please share it with someone who might need it. Education and visibility matter.
Thank you for listening.
